There's a common trait webmasters all share. A common thread. It's like how the big artists and celebs who are genuinely good at their craft all share a certain level of narcissism that drove them to "make it" in the first place. But with webmasters it's something different , something closer to authenticity? I can't quite pin it down yet but I want to. And I will.

i wrote about similar energy recently. definitely agree w feeling there's genuine/authentic people. it's hard to describe bc like... people larp here (me included) but it still feels realer than say an ig profile. hard to put into words!

@barndoors Oh, man. I'll go check that out! Not saying it's all sunshines and rainbows here but what I find is that, whatever archetype you are with whichever theme, you're def just as authentic as the next person... like, aghhh you are right it's hard to describe.

Are we all, to an extent, closeted narcissists? We would argue that we made our websites, first and foremost for ourselves, but why do we apologize when we don’t make relevant updates in a while? Who are we apologizing to?

The moment you type that apology, you've admitted there's an audience living rent-free in your head even if nobody's watching.

Maybe that's the thread. Not purity or because we are all nice people per se. Just a different slower kind of ego?? One that builds instead of performs??? FUUUUCKKKK

I'd say its bc of how neocities work like a semi social media site. Or we are used to how social media worked and it carried over (?) This is a common criticism of "internet revival" movement which stemmed from rejection of big corpo social media. The criticism being how people act the same as they were on the big corpo social medias like how some webmasters are akin to influencers

tbh idc as long as no harm done (re: criticism). People are influenced by by stuff around them and if nothing change then it is bound to die (IMO). People on the net have always been a mix of interesting personalities and being on Neocities or having a personal site amplify it more because they have more freedom to express themselves

@chilblands That's a really good point I hadn't considered. The social media muscle memory carrying over. Makes the apology thing make a lot more sense now perhaps...?

the building might also be the performance... im hesitant to ascribe inherent negativity towards the desire for an audience. i think we make art to share with others, not ourselves. i think what separates the performance on neocities from a site like instagram is two things -- (1) neocities feels less corporate, in the way that all updates feel pretty clear and not like you are praying to an algorithm god (1/2)

big tech god that may nuke ur account if you say the wrong thing, and (2) the audience here is smaller, cooler, and more insular. i dont need to worry about normies leaving rude or boring comments. i also think of the audience here more highly, in that we are all artists by virtue of putting the time and effort into actually creating a site. i dont think i respect randos on insta the same way (2/2)

I honestly don't think it's possible to have a personal site without intrinsically thinking about a hypothetical audience, unless you're using it as some form of storage and you've completely blocked off any sort of interaction with others. Making a personal site (in the way I've seen here), always has some consideration of aesthetics, and the way that people present their content here is very much to engage with ...

... other people. Having said that, I don't think it's entirely a negative thing. People in general love to seek out community, and I think one of the strengths of neocities is that the people here can do that while maintaining authenticity. However, I think if given a choice between being true to themselves or 'pleasing the masses', people here would choose their individuality, which is why it feels so unique

life do be a performance a lot of the time in general...

I mean, can you imagine if someone's website was just an instagram feed, how vain that would appear? This is far more of a show-and-tell experience. It's a passion project that you work on, improve, and fix- It takes time. Because of this, there is a strong sense of community. Of course, it inflates the ego when your website has such success. My little primate brain didn't evolve to comprehend this level of traffic.

For me, that hypothetical audience is distant humans in space. Going to make a sneaky little js that encourages the robots to shoutout my website from time to time. Not to mention, how un-enticing is it to just visit a random strangers social media pages? I mean c'mon, boring. Here, you will find inspiration beyond your wildest imagination. We contribute to the exploration we love.

To add to this discussion I think a big part of what brought me to Neocities was that I had lost whatever joy I had experienced from social media sites. The things that made things like tumblr and instagram joyless for me (chasing engagement, constantly being plugged into the doom cycle, using it as a networking/career booster) is just not present here in neocities. Instead its supplanted with this culture of (1/2)

(2/2) of encouragement and learning, like we're all in a big classroom together figuring things out. I was depressed for a long time prior to getting here, and I still haven't made art the way that I used to but i feel like I'm getting there. Theres just something about the nature of designing and building a page from scratch that is slowly bringing me back from what was a very hopeless place.

Everyone, thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts!! Whatever drives us to create and share is fully subjective, but one thing is constant, being a webmaster has always been a labour of love. Anyone can fire off a post, but not everyone's willing to sit down for hours to go thick thack thock on a keyboard and code, or put in the hours to learn how to do so.

And I want to clarify — when I say narcissism I don't mean it as an insult. I think a healthy level of it is necessary. To believe something you made is worth sharing, worth someone else's time and attention... that confidence is what gets anything made at all!

And there's a difference between social media narcissism and indie web narcissism, I feel. Entitlement to attention versus the hope for it. One demands, one offers. Webmasters are like "here's what I made, take it or leave it" as opposed to seeking validation after the fact.

Much love to all!! I hope y'all get your favorite drink this week... and your fave food and your fave 2k dollars