-- SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENTS --
BOARD OF DIRECTORS STATEMENT REGARDING REUNION INFILTRATIONS:
Following the recent unprovoked demonstrations and theatrical fire-breathing attempts by the organization styling itself as "Reunion," the Board of Directors wishes to formally clarify our corporate stance.
1. We do not care about your class war. Economics and societal reform are outside our jurisdiction; thermodynamics and vacuum tubes are not.
2. Oripathy is a medical condition, not a tactical alignment. Our HR department maintains a completely indifferent policy towards infection rates, provided your Arts remain stable and you do not bypass the safety interlocks on the break room microwave.
3. Stop shouting slogans at the security perimeter. If you attempt to burn down the velvet ropes with Draconic magic, CEO Henry Henderson will personally deploy the high-pressure industrial cleaning misters, followed by an aggressive offer of fresh apple juice. Please respect our commitment to neighborly hospitality.
[n] NOTICE TO ALL INTRUDERS, REVOLUTIONARIES, AND TEENAGERS WITH BROADSWORDS:
If you are reading this via our local area network while attempting to infiltrate the Sami Public Sector or the subterranean infrastructure within our primary jurisdiction, please be advised that Henry Henderson is currently drinking chamomile tea and will escort you out personally if you do not touch the thermal cooling valves. Do not throw fireballs at the velvet ropes. It ruins the upholstery.
MUNICIPAL ARTILLERY MAIL LAUNCH SCHEDULE:
Note: Airplanes are too noisy and expensive. Please consult the trajectory log below for outbound parcel delivery via industrial mortar cannon.
| Launch Time (Standard) |
Destination Sector / Territory |
Payload Type |
| 06:00 |
Sami Public Sector - Outer Courtyard |
Replacement Vacuum Tubes & Fresh Apples |
| 09:30 |
Infy Icefields Archive Node 04 |
Documents, Blueprints, & Orange Juice Cartons |
| 13:15 |
Ursus Logistics Drop-Point B |
Heavy Replacement Parts & Spare Hard Hats |
| 18:45 |
Aegir Deep-Sea Relay Surface Buoy |
Waterproof Hardware & Rubber Ducky Restock |
*Warning: Unauthorized personnel standing within 50 meters of the launch rail during firing sequences will be treated as priority airmail.*
-- DIRECTORY --
- Dorm Facility - Where all employees live (every single one gets a room).
- Recreational Facility - Unwind with state-of-art tech, projectors, and rubber duckies.
- R&D Facility - Labs and science stuff. (Oripathy-friendly, strictly physics-compliant).
- Production Facility - Huge scale tech manufacturing. Hard hats required.
- PRBS TV Service - Public Raccoon Broadcasting System (Operating on a daily looping schedule).
-- CONTACT US --
PHONE: +44 20 7946 0958
LOCATION: Sami Territory / Sector-Restricted Sovereign Operating Zone
Note: We are not interested in traumatized little girls with swords, thank you.
The information is old and no longer current, because in 1997 the Raccoon has officially suspended its operations.